Week 1

Here is what I remember about Joshua’s first week home.

The first week Joshua was home was incredibly interesting. We had no idea how to care for a newborn! It was a steep learning curve. Thank goodness he was pretty easy for the most part. He slept all the time! I was doing my best to breast feed him, but late Sunday night he kept crying because he was hungry. I tried and tried to feed him, but he kept getting really frustrated. My mom convinced me that he needed some formula because he was hungry. I was so scared to give him a bottle because of all the talk about nipple confusion. I sat down at the table and almost cried as my mom made him a bottle with about an ounce of formula. Joshua calmed down immediately, drank almost the whole ounce, and promptly fell asleep! I had mixed feelings about this. I obviously did not want him to starve, but I really didn’t want him to refuse me later. Later that night when I was up at some hour of the morning he was hungry again and obviously had not received enough from me. So I gave in and made him a bottle. Once again, he calmed down and went back to sleep after he had eaten enough. I did this several more times and hated it each time, but knew that I was doing what was right for him. He definitely needed more than I could give him and that killed me! I felt so awful. Like I wasn’t a good mother because I couldn’t produce enough milk for him.

Monday was a pretty busy day. We actually took him out and about for the first time. Joshua had to have an ultrasound done, so we had to go to Tacoma to the Group Health building. I was nervous about taking him out and dealing with him in public since I was still figuring it out at home. It went fine though. He slept the whole drive there and while we were waiting. He woke up when we went into the back because we had to take off all his clothes. He cried little pitiful cries during the ultrasound because he was cold. That was hard. I don’t like hearing him cry like that. When he was done we clothed him and I fed him a little until he fell back asleep. I have to say that it is very nice that they sleep so much the first little while because you need time to figure parenting all out!

Before we left for the ultrasound, I received a phone call about my lactation appointment for Friday. She needed to change the time. While I was on the phone with her, she asked how things were going and I mentioned the issues we were having. She decided it was important for me to come in ASAP instead of waiting for Friday. I was kind of emotional while talking to her because I knew it was important for my son’s health that we saw her soon, but each time she said she had free we were not because of Joshua’s ultrasound and then his Dr appt the next morning. Finally she told me she would call back in a few minutes. She ended up changing one of her other appointments so that I could come in Tuesday afternoon.

Tuesday morning we had his first Dr appointment with his pediatrician. We found out that he had lost 10 oz in the 3 days since he was born. That is a little more than they would like to see babies lose, so they talked to me about different things I needed to do. They ordered me a breast pump that came the next day. It was all covered by insurance since Joshua still couldn’t nurse without a nipple shield and was obviously losing weight.

I was so nervous about meeting with the lactation specialist because of giving Joshua the bottle. I realize now that it was stupid to feel that way. I needed to do what I felt was best for my child. This is a lesson I think I am going to have to continue learning as so many people try to give you advice on the best way to take care of an infant.

She immediately made me feel better by saying that of course I should give him a bottle. He obviously lost weight since birth. He was so skinny!! There was no meat on his bones at all. Anyway, she told me just how much he should be eating and how often. She was very pleased that I was receiving a breast pump. She told me that would help with making sure my milk supply came in. We were told that he needed to eat every 3-4 hours even if we had to wake him up to do it. I was to feed him on both sides and then offer him a bottle. We needed to document how long he ate at the breast, how many oz he ate from a bottle, and how many messy/wet diapers. After he finished eating, I had to pump for 15 minutes. The next time he ate, I was to give him anything I pumped and then the rest would be formula. For several days, the majority of the food he ate was formula. I did start producing more milk, but Joshua was not always tolerant of eating from the breast so he drank it from a bottle. He would get too frustrated. It started to turn around when I was producing enough milk for Joshua to just eat from me. The incessant pumping really got that process going for me. It seemed to take forever, but I did get him off formula. By my next appointment that Friday, Joshua was mostly eating breast milk. I was so happy! And he was starting to do better at the breast. Of course, with my luck I only had two days of that!